Sunday 31 January 2010

Licky Licky

This is the second time recently that I've featured someone with a giant mutant winkie.


It wasn't his winkie wot done it.


It was that luscious red colour.


It's not often you see such a rich red.


Red is, for me, a very tactile colour: I just want to lick it.


Er... but this chap looks nice enough, anyhow.

Chance find of nice photos

This sleek lovely is a British Rail Class 442 Wessex Electric.


Introduced in 1989, they were designed for one route: the former mainline of the London & South Western Railway from Waterloo to Southampton, Bournemouth and Weymouth.


Sleek and fast -- they still hold the world speed record for 3rd rail traction -- these lovelies were based on BR's Mk3 family of coaches, whose passenger comfort has never really been equalled on Britain's rails.


The flagship of BR's Network SouthEast division, these beauties transformed travel on this line.


With privatisation they were dumped by the dynamic new franchisee, who preferred to use bog-standard outer suburban units that offered less passenger comfort but less running cost.


In the bizarre world of Britain's railways they've now found a new home on the London-Brighton line, undertaking work for which they're not particularly well designed. But it's better than them rotting in sidings.

Back from Fennish Norfolk

Beowulf has, of course, some claim to be the first English epic -- a great work that emerged from about 700AD in the glorious but bloody flowering of Anglo-Saxon England.


I first encountered Beowulf's great villain, Grendel, at an early age, and he made a big impression on me. Unlike many, I found myself feeling huge empathy with Grendel and his mother rather than with the eponymous "hero".

This may be unsurprising since I found them through John Gardner's Grendel rather than the original. Oh, come on, be fair -- I was only 11.


Over the years I have decided that -- for some Freudian reason or other -- there is also an association in my mind between Grendel's Mother and Sheela na Gigs. Although, as can be seen in the picture above, the fertility of Grendel's Mother can affect some of us deeply (what on earth is that representation of the Willendorf Venus doing in the bottom left corner?).


Having returned from another period in the (metaphorical) bosom of my mother, I have decided that there is a simple case of cross-projection going on here, an intermingling of archetypal themes.


Luckily, I have decided it is in no-one's interests for me to continue to pursue this subject so, instead, I have decided to introduce you to the charms of Liam Bergin.


There is a connection here, however tenuous. You see, LeDuc's mother is a huge, huge fan of soap operas, whereas Grendel himself can't bear them. It is only when he is ensnared in his mother's lair that he watches them.


Hence his delight at seeing, in EastEnders, the delightful introduction of the delightful actor Liam Bergin.


Liam clearly has an exuberant efflorescence of luxuriant chest hair, which pokes enticingly through the tops of his, er, tops.


His role has, so far, been tiny, and the only other role I can find him undertaking is, as you can see in the first of his photos, above, as Romeo in Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.


Alas, in Cockney Dirge-Fest EastEnders, he is surrounded by buxom wenches who believe acting is a process which involves pushing out your cleavage to its maximum extent at every opportunity.


Nothing else to say here, beyond remember the dismissal of soap operas by the great continuity announcer Susie Blake: "I'm just not interested in watching Cockneys sitting around eating jumbo sausage".

Thursday 28 January 2010

(Ab)normal service, etc...

Another break in posting, I'm afraid -- but it should be a much shorter one, this time.


I hope to be back with you again by Sunday.

Fingers crossed.

Wednesday 27 January 2010

Scrubbed and fresh

I only have this solitary pair of photos of this intriguing-looking chap, and I can't remember where I found them, either.


But their faintly surreal charms are more than enough to win me over.


I've never seen a finer pair...

Tuesday 26 January 2010

Quickie

No idea what's going on here...


...but I found it strangely compelling.

Elevated design

Can I introduce the new 5000 series railcars now beginning to appear on Chicago's elevated railway?


These two-car units, designed and manufactured by Canada's Bombardier, have cutting-edge ac motors (well, cutting-edge for urban railway technology, anyway).


Air-conditioned and with all sorts of computer-controlled wizardry, these units are likely to be your first experience of the L, depending on which airport you use.


They look gorgeous.


And I have to say, I'm not normally a fan of retro design. I like modern things to look modern (the rest of the cars in this post are not the 5000s...).


But Chicago's L cars just have to be made from stainless steel, at least some of which has to have a corrugated finish.


They also have to be in pairs of squared-off units, joined into longer trains.


That look is just necessary -- it is typical of Chicago, just as a black London taxi is unmistakably part of London.


Yeah, fit for purpose -- why change something that just works?

Sporting Life

a trio of sporting images -- starting with the traditional team photo:


There's something about hugging a guy wearing such a teeny-tiny Speedo...


And for some reason, this final shot sends me all a-quiver.


Nope, utterly inexplicable.

High speed decision-making

The story so far...


The Government, finally realising that Britain is the laughing stock of Europe, sets up an "independent" company to survey and advise on the route for a new high speed railway line from London to the West Midlands, with a less detailed path onwards to Manchester and the North-West, and an outline of a possible route to Scotland. They had until the end of 2009.


Apparently the company has now submitted their report and, in the traditional open style for which British democracy is famed worldwide, the Government has decided it will be Top Secret until it decides it can be bothered to share it with us mere citizens. After all: they know what's best for us, eh?


So, inevitably, the leaks and the rumours start, and the juiciest one to emerge so far is that, rather than plug into one of London's numerous existing terminals, the report apparently proposes a completely new terminus.


This is, as they say, a turn-up for the books.

While there is no obvious answer to where high speed trains should terminate, building a completely new terminus is fraught with difficulties. Let's run through what may have been the options:


King's Cross. Er... no, it's full already. And while the upgrade of Thameslink may free up some space by allowing Great Northern outer suburban services to shuttle down to the basement, the platforms that would be freed up are (and this is almost laughable) far too short. Your average high speed train simply won't fit into the impossibly congested interiors of King's Cross.


Ok, what about St Pancras, fresh from its £0.5bn makeover, and the home to Britain's only existing high speed trains, the Eurostars (and the Javelins, sort of)?


Nice idea but, er, St Pancras is also full: the Midland Mainline platforms are already restricting capacity on the Midlands inter-city routes, and once Eurostar's expansion plans are taken into account (as well as the theoretical opening up of Channel Tunnel services to competition -- all those SNCF and DB trains will need to park at St Pancras) there is no room there, either.


Erm... Euston? Current home to London-Birmingham/Manchester/Glasgow services. With the bulk of those shifting to the high speed lines, all those platforms will be freed-up! Well, yes, except the whole justification for the high speed line is to increase capacity on the existing routes -- Milton Keynes alone is generating massive growth in outer suburban traffic, and that needs more platforms rather than fewer. In any event, Euston is not brilliantly connected to the Underground network and the lines that serve it are among the most congested, so if you want to disperse passengers once they've arrived Euston may struggle.


Marylebone? Good idea, but Marylebone has been shrivelled over the years so that it is, essentially, half a dozen suburban platforms, with poor Underground connections. There isn't much room to expand around it, either.


Paddington? Maybe, though Paddington is the least well-positioned of any London terminus, stuck out in the western suburbs. At least it would benefit from Crossrail, to provide high-capacity dispersal, and it has space for a couple of looong platforms under the fourth roof (currently being restored at vast cost).


And the rest of the stations are in the south or east -- not at all obvious termini for the new HS lines. Which is why a new terminus actually, sort of, makes sense.


If it were built on development land near to the King's Cross/St Pancras nexus, it would benefit from great onward connections and, with cunning engineering, it may also offer direct regional connections to the rest of Europe (assuming we ever join the Schengen group... we have to at some point, don't we...?).


And from a train operating perspective (God forbid we should ever think about that) a through station is vastly more efficient than a terminus. The new Berlin station might be a model there.


It would be theoretically ideal to build the new terminus at Farringdon, bang on top of the meeting point for Crossrail and Thameslink, providing maximum dispersal connectivity across London. But there's nowhere obvious to put it, and the cost of getting the lines there would be astronomical.


So what's the betting that the new terminus will be at either:

Heathrow -- we don't want to upset the aviation industry too much, do we, and siting it there would provide an excuse for Government to pour gazillions more tax-payers' money into the troughs; or at

Stratford -- because God knows the Olympics on their own are never going to be able to rescue that God-forsaken part of the capital. The argument would go that it would provide fantastic interconnections to the Eurostar services, and that the new Javelins would provide an onward connection to St Pancras, where further onward connections, er... you may well be sensing the fundamental problem with this option: that no-one wants to go to Stratford, and that onward travel will usually involve two connections rather than just one; or at


Old Oak Common. Um... Old Oak where? Er... this is the former "North Pole" depot for Eurostar trains (when they operated out of Waterloo), a couple of miles west of Paddington. As the name "North Pole" suggests, it's in the middle of nowhere, connected to a single (flaky) Underground line in Zone 2, with poor road access. Totally unsuitable as the terminus.

Yeah... my money's on them picking this one.


So, place your bets. Where will it go? You only have to wait a couple of months to find out.