They're so kewl

Top 20 films of the first decade of the millennium (in no particular order):

Donnie Darko -- everyone's favourite psychotic. Fantastic first film -- up there in the pantheon of great first features -- and one which never ages. Personally, I prefer the original to the overly religious director's cut (proof that sometimes the studios get it right).


Shortbus -- for its contribution to the sexualisation of our society, reflecting on the big screen those transformations being wrought by the web. And because it's delightful and witty, too -- one of the few films that demonstrates sex is fun and funny.


Brokeback Mountain -- actually not one of The Best films, but it represents a transformational shift in transatlantic middle class society, where serious actors can freely take gay roles without feeling their careers have been compromised. Plus it's a hugely enjoyable weepie.


Hunger -- exquisite visuals, as you'd expect from artist-turned-director Steve McQueen, but so much more: a film about a vital political situation and about the dehumanising effects of the state when it gets it wrong. (Since I have listed Hunger I was hoping also to be able to list Thirst, but it doesn't quite make it.)


O'Horten -- a film about growing old, about the visual potency of trains driving through an unbelievably snowy landscape, about the joys of change and finding love.


Of Time and the City -- Terence Davies' cinematic meditation on growing-up in impoverished Liverpool -- or, rather, a Liverpool that was economically impoverished but spiritually/socially rich. A delightful tapestry of archive film and sensual music with Davies' own, richly fruity voiceover explaining among others the Betty and Phil Show.


Dodgeball -- life-affirming, etc, but, more to the point, a film that proves -- no matter how many times you see it -- watching a man being hit in the balls is always funny. And you've gotta have at least one film like this on any "top 10" list, just to prove you're human. Er... oh, alright: I have a crush on Justin Long, too. There, I've admitted it.


Oldboy -- explosive revenge movie, in parts almost unwatchable -- grisly but gripping.


Into the Wild -- a quirky, low-budget number which is held aloft by the strength of the central character, and by a powerhouse piece of acting. Plus you get to see Emile Hirsch's winkie.


Brick (which also stands in for Mysterious Skin, etc) -- this is utterly delightful: a film that takes what seemed to be a worn-out old genre and turns it around, giving us 1930s noir set in a modern US high school, complete with slang and dirty dealing. Magnificent (and a compelling performance by the metaphorical giant, Joseph Gordon Levitt).


There will be Blood -- another extraordinary masterwork from Paul Thomas Anderson, a director who is nicely shaping up to be one of The Greats of Cinema. There are so many things to admire in this film, but I'm going to pick out the sound design and the music, so shamefully excluded by the American Academy (but recognised by the British).


I've loved you so long -- a grown-up film dealing with a character who has done a truly repellent thing, but who is still human with recognisably the same frailties as the rest of us. Exquisite French film about adults wrestling with adult emotions and adult pain, taking in an examination of the family bonds that tie as well ground. Wonderful.


Far From Heaven -- Julianne Moore is, of course, a Screen Goddess, and Todd Haynes is a director from Heaven. This homage to 1950s Douglas Sirk melodramas is from start to finish an utterly engrossing story. We may think we're inured to violence, but a single slap in the middle of this film shows us how shocking it can be. Gripping.


Ten Canoes. More cock per square metre of screen than even Shortbus, but none of it erotic. There's something delightful about this simple tale of humanity.


Apocalypto -- I hate the evil Catholic bigot more than anyone, but his film deserves a place here for giving us one of the best ever examples of the "fugitive on the run" genre. Mesmerising, haunting, engrossing.


Bronson -- Tom Hardy's performance is simply mesmerising.


Presque Rien -- the most powerful evocation of the joy and pain of first love ever committed to film; and it's gay love, to boot, with the exquisitely beautiful Stephane Rideau. Gloriously weepy.


A Prophet. Another French delight, a gripping but grisly tale of human adaptation in an environment that is nasty and brutish. Not especially innovative, but a magnificent adaptation of the prison movie with a stunning central performance.


The Incredibles. There has to be an animation on this list, and this was one of the best (Wall-E started out even better, but ran out of juice when the humans appeared). Even without genius fashion designer Edna it would have been incredible, but with her...


Sexy Beast. So, so tired of British Cockney gangster movies, but this one was special. Very special.


That's the list... Bubbling just under were such glorious experiences as White Ribbon, Touching the Void, Wall-E... in fact, too many to mention.


What have I missed off, what shouldn't be on here? If you prove me to be an idiot I'll post an apologia in a bit.