Saturday 20 February 2010

MP says electors are scum*

Can I introduce Sir Bufton Tufton?


No, just kidding. That was actually "Sir" Nicholas Winterton, a Tory MP whose latest gaffe I've tried to resist but it's just impossible...


"Sir" Nicky and his MP wife bought a flat, put it into a trust controlled by their kids, and then charged the tax-payer £20k pa "rent" to live in it. What a card, eh?

He has now said:
They want to stop members of parliament travelling first class. That puts us below local councillors and officers of local government. They all travel first class. Majors in the army travel first class.
Having got his facts wrong (local government officers have not been allowed to travel 1st Class since the 1980s), and having insulted large sections of the community with his ridiculous class-based perceptions (who is above whom?) he went on:
So we are supposed to stand when there are no seats ... I'm sorry, it infuriates me.
Yes, "Sir" Nicky, it infuriates a lot of other passengers, too.

The sybaritic luxury of 1st Class in
one of Virgin Trains' piss-poor Pendolinos


This numpty was an enthusiastic supporter of railway privatisation, and I can find no record of him demanding that basic customer service standards should have been imposed on the dynamic private companies that shoved their snouts into the monopoly trough -- nowhere can I see him arguing that every passenger has a right to a seat, and that these exploiters of private monopolies should be under an obligation to provide one.

The hell on earth that is 2nd Class (sorry,
"Standard Class") in one of Virgin Trains'
piss-poor Pendolinos

And now he has the gall to demand that tax-payers should finance him to be protected from the shite service he has imposed on the rest of us?

A typical "view" from a 2nd Class (sorry,
"Standard Class") seat in one of Virgin Trains'
piss-poor Pendolinos

If he were not an MP, such arrogant self-delusion would be beyond belief: in my view "Sir" Nicky is lucky not to have been on the list of parliamentarians facing prosecution for what can, perhaps charitably, be described as entrepreneurial innovation over his personal expenses.

One of Virgin Trains' piss-poor
Pendolinos tilting at speed
through Berkhamsted


The contempt he holds for the rest of us is now revealed for all to see -- he later "justified" his remarks by arguing that:
Standard-class passengers are a totally different type of people. There's lots of children, there's noise, there's activity. I like to have peace and quiet when I'm travelling.
Yes, well, so do the rest of us, actually. What, precisely, have you done, "Sir" Nicky, to ensure that every citizen is entitled to peace and quiet when they are using public transport?

One of Virgin Trains'
piss-poor Pendolinos

And I'd be curious to find out in what way, precisely, "Sir" Nicky is "better" than his constituents?

Another of Virgin Trains'
piss-poor Pendolinos

Unable to stop digging himself into a hole, he later issued yet another clarification in which he said how useful it was to be able to have conversations with all the businessmen from his constituency, Macclesfield, who were travelling in First Class (presumably talking to them counts as "work" rather than being noisy and invasive?).

That's nice.

Imagine how useful it would also have been for "Sir" Nicky to have found out what life was like for all his other constituents, many of whom could only afford to travel Second Class.

A pair of Virgin Trains'
piss-poor Pendolinos

The sooner this scum is out of power the better.

* Well, not in so many words, but I'm interpreting -- I think correctly.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Agree with your comments on MP.

What's wrong with the Virgin Pendolinos ?

LeDuc said...

Pendolinos are the most claustrophobic trains currently operating in Britain: too many seats crammed, "airline style" into too small a space; tiny, tiny windows; and lots of the seats are anyway next to bulkheads, so you can't see out.

Virgin greedily specified that 4 coaches of each train should be 1st Class, giving it premium fares, while the other 4.5 coaches would do for Scum Class. As a result, on most services entirely empty 1st Class coaches are whisked from one end of the country to the other, while The Proles have to stand in Scum Class or squat on the floors in the vestibules.

There is almost no baggage room -- which is utterly absurd on trains which operate long-distance services.

And, finally, because they tilt, the sides taper inwards. That wouldn't be too bad on most railways, but Britain's loading gauge (the envelope of space within which trains have to fit) is already so tiny that the interiors of these trains feel like cramped tubes -- much worse than aircraft.

Other than that, they're not bad trains...

uncutplus said...

Sir Bufton Tuffton reminds me of Sir Topham Hatt in the Thomas, the tank engine series. Perhaps, you could start a new story line based on the Virgin Pendolinos. Just draw a face on it with a portruding chin and receding hairline. LOL.

From your article and comment, it seems that class warfare is still very alive and well in Britain.

Didn't they make a real Thomas Engine for use on British Rail? Have you done a post on that? If so, give me the reference. If not, start us laughing by showing it to us!

Since having fun seems to increase participation, maybe Amtrak in the USA should start using Thomas and his friends on its line. Then all the kids would demand to travel by rail instead of by air!

Anonymous said...

Leduc, you are so right!!!!!!!!!!! If only more people like you (or me) were in Parliament instead of the load of dishonest, self-seeking, deluded tossers that seem to make up the majority of all parties. Speaking personally I wouldn't actyally want to be an MP because then I would have to spend a lot of time associating with such unpleasant people. Tiro

LeDuc said...

I would be a completely disastrous MP, even if I like to think I would take a more moral approach to claiming expenses.

No, I think I'd make a much better Head of State...